Adventures with “Sam”
So, where to start? Well… I met Sam at the end of my first semester. He was actually good friends with one of the guys that I REALLY liked (we’ll call him Lelio, after a character he played). Sam seemed to like me after the first time we met, and I thought he was pretty cute, too (but decided to not take it any further, since he was friends with Lelio). Well, we met up a couple of times, and then sort of lost contact. Until the next summer (2006) I had bought tickets to go to a Muse concert, and was going to take another friend… But he wasn’t really interested, so, I ended up asking Sam to go with me instead. I would have thought about asking Lelio, but I had waited too long, and was too afraid of making any kind of move towards him anyways. So, Sam it was. We had a great time at the concert, and while we were walking back to his car, we ended up stopping at this pretty fountain that was all lit up. We talked and took some pictures and then… He just kissed me. He had kissed me on the forehead before, but that was the first time he kissed me. I remember I was soo filled with butterflies (I’ll be honest it was a pretty unexpected and romantic kind of kiss). On the way home, Sam put his hand on my leg, and we occasionally held hands. I guess that kind of brought up those feelings that I suppressed the first time I met him. When we got to his house, we watched some TV and cuddled for a while… Nothing too interesting. I ended up staying the night there, but really nothing more than what I just mentioned happened.
After that, we ended up hanging out a lot more. It was awkward for me at times, because we ended up hanging out with Lelio and his new girlfriend a lot, and I KNOW Lelio knew I liked him, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if Lelio told Sam about it, too. But we got over it.
The thing about it, it wasn’t just hanging out. Sam and I made out plenty of times. I remember one night when we were watching TV. He was sitting in the reclining chair, and he pulled me over to him. I sat, straddling him, and the TV was still on in the background. We started making out, and occasionally, would both laugh at something that had happened on TV.
Another time, he was laying on the floor, once again with me straddling him. I could feel him getting excited, and I looked at him… I think we were both ready to tear off our clothes, but we didn’t… It was kind of like he was waiting for me to say something… But I wasn’t going to say something until he did… So, we ended up not going much further.
Another time… We were on the couch, this time I was underneath him. We were engaged in some pretty heavy making out… Then he started kissing my stomach, and making his way down. I was really nervous and kind of unprepared (can’t quite remember but chances are, I needed to shave), so I stopped him. I didn’t enjoy it with EC, and I wasn’t ready to take the step of recieving oral from someone I actually cared about.. I’m weird like that I guess…
So, this continued on for a couple of months, but it was kind of hard for me. I liked him, and I knew we weren’t officially together, no matter how much we acted like it when we were with each other. So, after school had started, I decided to see if this was going to go anywhere. I was pretty disappointed to get the “I’m just horny and don’t want to commit right now” thing from him. I was partially expecting it, and partially hoping too much for something else.
I wasn’t meaning to somewhat “end” what we had going on.. It was honestly just a question. But it would’ve been hard to keep going that way, just because I had feelings for him. I would’ve liked to have hung out more, without the extra activities, but I guess it kind of ended that, too. Well, on a regular basis, at least.